Nothing of note from a green and red perspective today but there’s an issue of colour that’s worth a mention and there’s also a few Tribesmen that need hauling over the coals. And then there’s Cork. Oh dear.
Have I ever mentioned before that I’m colour blind? Well, Your Honour, I am. In my misspent youth, I was the one that provoked ongoing mirth in the snooker hall by continually potting that ‘red’ that turned out, in reality, to be the brown. I, too, am that driver who knows exactly where the red traffic lights are – why they’re just above those whitish looking ones. Do you, dear reader, think you too might be similarly disabled? (According to that font of knowledge, Wikipedia, colour blindness may be termed as a disability –which was news to me so I think I’ll head off to Marty Cullen tout de suite to claim my disability pension). If unsure, why not take the test?
Where is all this leading to, you might, with some justification, ask? Well, this piece in the Hogan Stand caught the attention of my poor colour blind eyes as it held out the prospect of resolving a long-standing bugbear I’ve had with our glorious national games. For too long (since the widespread adoption across the country of colour television sets, if I’m not mistaken), county teams who have roughly similar colour schemes have been allowed to go to battle with each other, without either of them being obliged to change into alternative gear that would enable poor saps like me to tell them apart.
If you’re not colour blind, this won’t seem like a bit deal but, to those of us who are afflicted in this way, believe me it is. If one team (Mayo, for argument’s sake) has a lot of green in its jersey and so too has its opponents (say, for example, Kerry or Donegal or Leitrim or Fermanagh or Meath) and then they all wear white shorts, your average colour blind punter is just going to see a blur of green and white and something and more green and white and something (and that’s without taking anything on board before the off either). This doesn’t happen in other field sports and there’s no good reason why it’s been tolerated in the GAA world either. So I happily applaud Croke Park’s fiat on this issue and also I look forward to applauding when the right team scores in future.
Okay, let’s move onto those irksome Herrin Chokers. Not only have they got a gleaming new training centre in Claregalway, the details of which were contained in an interview with Liam Sammon in Saturday’s Irish Times (sub required), but now they’re acting like a total shower of sleveens about match scheduling. They are, to be precise, trying to get their league match with Kildare on Sunday week postponed because two of their players are lining out for Moycullen in the All-Ireland Intermediate club final on the same day.
Who the hell are they trying to fool? We’ll be without the services of all the Ballina lads possibly till after Paddy’s Day (at which point we’ll have four league matches played), the Dubs are similarly being denied the services of the Vinnie’s lads (and, for good measure, we’ve got two more quarantined away there too) and Armagh are having to make do without the XMG contingent. (Cork, meanwhile, have come up with their own novel solution to this problem). I seriously hope this facetious request from Liam Sammon and his mates is met with the proper kind of response from Croke Park. You know it: it’s the one involving the phrase “would you ever go and fucking cop yourselves on”.
Finally, and also on the topic of copping oneself on, the crack down in Cork has now gone well beyond a joke. Kieran Mulvey, one suspects, will not be back for a third plate of Leeside helpings and the failure of this latest peace process will also come as a blow to the GAA’s new DG, Paraic Duffy. Participation by the county’s footballers and hurlers in this year’s NFL would now appear to be a non-runner, with the odds on a championship devoid of Rebel participation shortening by the day. The only ones who can stop this madness are the players but, so far at least, they seem hell-bent on attempting to secure what any fair-minded person will recognise as an impossible victory. As the saying goes, there are none so blind as those who will not see.